During the Lunar New Year Holiday, difficult conversations often come in the form of concern from family members on topics like marriage, children, and career, tainting what should be happy moments. For the sake of mental health, Taichung Hospital Psychiatrist Chang Ping-tsun ( 章秉純) suggests strategies to navigate these conversations, preventing them from devolving into combative arguments.

Chang advises using different strategies based on the strength of your relationship with the family member in question. If the relationship is weaker or more distant, he suggests a “low-level topic shift.” This can look like switching to social issues, political topics, or asking their opinion on topics like health, exercise, or supplements, rather than answering uncomfortable questions. 

With a closer relationship, he suggests attempting higher-level emotional communication, like gently drawing boundaries. This could sound like “Thanks for your concern, but I don't have an answer right now.” If the relationship is especially close, this could even be used as an opportunity to discuss life philosophies with older family members, probing into the importance of getting married, or having children, and how their opinion of those decisions changed over their lifetimes. In-depth conversations like this, Chang says, can even strengthen familial relationships at any age.

When facing conflict with relatives, especially in close quarters, he says, remember to take a step back and give yourself the space to calm down. When emotions run high, try to stay rational to avoid entering a combative mindset.

If a situation gets too out of control, Chang says the most mature response is to draw boundaries and prioritize your mental health. He recommends the universal phrase, “I see what you're saying, and I'll give it some thought,” which avoids swallowing grievances, to both protect your mental health and keep the peace.